Honeysugar: Sometimes I need a microscope just to find the crumbs to give me
an excuse to bring out my hoover.
Anorexia: Your life sounds so complicated.
Honeysugar: It is with you being so neat all the time. Mess things up girl!
Anorexia: I hardly eat anything to leave a crumb from.
Honeysugar: I know. Its slim pickings!
Anorexia: I saw Maisie at the Mart today. She was buying some crumble cake. I'm
sure her carpet will need rescuing pretty soon.
Honeysugar: Thanks for the warning. She didn't buy any sugar puffs did she?
Anorexia: No, I don't think so.
Honeysugar: Oh, well. Can't have everything.
Anorexia: But she was buying popcorn.
Honeysugar: Popcorn?! How wonderful! It'll get everywhere. I may have to put the
gobblehead onto the end of the pipe. I've not done THAT since Rose spilt hundreds
and thousands and moondust at the same time.
Anorexia: I'm so excited FOR you. Do you think it'll make the news?
Honeysugar: Only if Al Qaieda is suspected. But they can pretty much be blamed for
anything these days.
Anorexia: And the few things left over are the things they probably REALY did.
Honeysugar: You think? I woldn't know. About what happens in HINGLAND I mean.
Anorexia: I'll tell you another time, or when people have caught up.
Honeysugar: I and my hoover just want to defend the good old US of A.
Anorexia: From germ warfare? I understand.
Honeysugar: Yes, the enemy's even in the discarded food.
Anorexia: Its a hidden danger.
Honeysugar: I see myself as exterminating the excess. Eradicating the extra.
Anorexia: It sounds like my diet, and what softcell Al Qaieda's starting to do with gays.
Honeysugar: What was that?
Anorexia: Oh, nothing.
Honeysugar: Nothing's good. That's what's left after I've hoovered up.
  

Miss. Smart: Today we're going to be discussing Sylvia Plath. Does anyone know
any lines?
Anorexia: The woman is perfected?
Miss. Smart: Yes, as in Death, perhaps. Any further thouts?
Anorexia: Yes, the poem, her final poem, it was called Edge. She was writing in a
fervor, and a fever, those last few weeks as if writing to a literal deadline.
Myla: I like the one about the sky flying off like the hat of a doll.
Miss. Smart: What d'you think it meant?
Myla: I don't know, it just sounded  good. To me that's the main thing with poetry,
the sound not the meaning.
Tara: I always remember that one about the place where men are mended.
Miss Smart: Yes, could be a bit of feminism there. Those last two are from The
Stones I believe.
Tilda: I always prefered The Beatles. John Lennon and all that.
Miss Smart: A similar figure I think. But at Harvard we'll stick to Sylvia.
Hydra: Wasn't there one about a bear named Maisie Blackstock?
Miss Smart: A toy bear I think rather than the grizzly variety.
Tilda: I used to think that Suzanne Vega was Sylvia Plath.
Tara: Or Beth Orton.
Miss Smart: Yes, her influence has extended into popular culture.
Anorexia: Tho it was Iron Maiden who put one of her poems to music. Apparently,
her words realy go well with heavy metal.
Miss Smart: I guess its the angst.
Anorexia: Miss Drake Proceeding To Supper I think it was called.
Miss Smart: That reminds me. Just before the bell, yor homework. Try to write a
Sylvia-like poem. It'll be the best way to explore her by trying to emulate her.
Tilda: I'll just copy from that blog Love Letter On The Edge Of Apocalypse.
Tara: That's not like Sylvia.
Myla: Not sure if its even poetry.
Anorexia: O I mite give it a look then. I always find poetry too difficult.

Rose: I'm thinking of going fat.
Carly: Thinking of? You need to slim rite now.
Rose: I know. Let me put it another way then. I'm thinking of going thin.
Carly: Now we're getting somewhere. Sure you don't want my Slim City meeting to
start up again as mental encoragement?
Rose: No, I think we could bring about the apocalypse if we do that too often.
Carly: Disagreement has many decibels for sure.
Maisie: Hi, gals. Don't mind me, just doing my run.
Rose: You getting outdoorsy?
Maisie: Yes, running machine exploded.
Carly: Al Qaieda?
Maisie: No, overuse. Apparently, no successful slimmer has ever eaten as much as I do.
Rose: Or exercised more.
Carly: Won't you cramp up, stopping for so long?
Maisie: Yes, byeeeee.
Rose: Rexie has a novel 'What Maisie Knew'.
Carly: It can't be about our Maisie or it wold be a short story.
Rose: I know, little sketch.
Carly: So, the meeting. Can we stand another one?
Rose: Well, we are due for armageddon.
Carly: Tomorrow, apparently.
Doreen the Dogwalker: Hiya!
Rose: Wow, those are brite leggings.
Carly: Even for you.
Doreen the Dogwalker: Yes, I kind of thout if you can have shocking pink why can't you
have shocking yelo?
Carly: Its shocking they hadn't thout of it before.
Rose: Carly's on about another meeting.
Doreen the Dogwalker: I could certainly do with one. I had good news yesterday and
celebrated it with an extra apple. I've been worrying about my weit ever since.
Rose: Good news tho, what was it?
Doreen the Dogwalker: Oh, Frio the dog's been found. By someone called Flaxlawna.
Amazingly she's a friend of Anorexia's so she's bringing him over.
Carly: Wow, small world.
Rose: Well, it couldn't get any bigger..oh, I see what you mean.

Carly: I'm trying a new fad diet.
Doreen the Dogwalker; Did you say fat diet?
Carly: No, but I mite as well have done.
Doreen the Dogwalker: Since my Frio was dognapped I've been losing weit thru worry.
Carly: I'm sure spaceships with the technology they have have pilots who've developed
kindness. I'm sure he'll be cared for. He may come back much improved.
Doreen the Dogwalker: You mean like a robot? Computerised?
Carly: Who knows? He may see twitter and speak google and yap yahoo. Who knows
what inventions lie ahead of us.
Doreen the Dogwalker: I always thout Frio the Dog was ahead of us.
Carly: That's not hard to believe. Who were you minding him for anyway.
Doreen the Dogwalker: Someone called Princess Felicity. She's currently incarcerated
on a game show that don't allow pets. Strange tho.
Carly: What?
Doreen the Dogwalker: Frio seemed to know his captors. He went of his own accord.
Carly: So you believe in aliens now.
Doreen the Dogwalker: No, not at all, I'm normal.
Carly: But you said you lost your dog to a spaceship. Spacenapped.
Doreen the Doreen: I am quite trendy and incapable of believing in such things according
to my twitter profile.
Carly: According to mine I have a thousand folowers.
Doreen the Dogwalker: Did you celebrate?
Carly: Yes, by treating myself to life as a celebrity.
Doreen the Dogwalker: How's that done?
Carly: I unfolowed the two thousand I was folowing.
Doreen the Dogwalker: Its strange with celebrities. The less they can speak the more the
people are who want to hear what they say.
Carly: Those empty inside can be filled with people's fantasies of what they think they are.
Doreen the Dogwalker: That's deep.
Carly: Sometimes I have a quick dip into my depths and then resume shalowness.
Doreen the Dogwalker: Ah, yes, shalowness is more popular after all.   

Miss Rye-Veta: Hot day today.
Honeysugar: Much like yesterday.
Miss Rye-Veta: Yes. Can you have too much of blue sky?
Honeysugar: Yip. That's why I get my hoover out. Never lets me down. Always creating cleaner
outlooks. With constant conversation.
Miss Rye-Veta: I know its your best friend, but you do realise its a machine and not a person
don't you?
Honeysugar: Yes, but scientists say machines will be humans in the future.
Miss Rye-Veta: Yes, some humans are ALREADY machines.
Honeysugar: Realy? They must be very clever.
Miss Rye-Veta: It wasn't realy a compliment.
Honeysugar: O well, I compliment you on making it.
Miss Rye-Veta: So.
Honeysugar: Ha?
Miss Rye-Veta: No, I've run out of conversation. I've used up all the words. Wonder when this
bus is coming?
Honeysugar: Its due at 12.45.
Miss Rye-Veta: That was ten minutes ago.
Honeysugar: Oh. I lost track due to all the conversation.
Miss Rye-Veta: Yes, conversation. Usualy so easy......hmmmm?......So, when did you last see
a cloud in the sky?
Honeysugar: Apart from the smoke clouds you mean from all the burning fires?
Miss Rye-Veta: Er, yes, probably.
Honeysugar: There probably aren't any. Its probably due to all the water the fire fiters are using.
They've probably used up all the ocean. I think that's where the clouds are made.
Miss Rye-Veta: Yes, probably.
Honeysugar: Once, you know, the bus was on time
Miss Rye-Veta: Was it realy?
Honeysugar: No..Wait a minute, think it was a minute early and everybody missed it!

Anorexia: I'm having a fat-day today.
Matilda: I can see, you've treated yorself to an extra mint.
Anorexia: Its to stave off the tomato temptation.
Matilda: Yes, when did Boston cease being Colonial City and become Beantown instead?
Anorexia: Must have been during the boomtime of the beantown.
Matilda: Yes, still, its lovely here on the Esplenade.
Anorexia: I love the yelow trees.
Matilda: Its nice to be near the river.
Anorexia: She's wilowy for sure.
Matilda: There'a lots of outdoor cafe's round here. We'll find one.
Anorexia: If there's lots then one won't be hard to find.
Matilda: Who do you reckon for the Olympics then?
Anorexia: O you know I'm a McKayla Maroney fan. She's so slim.
Matilda: I'm counting on Komova still.
Anorexia: I'm sure Viktoria will be victorios in one of the events.
Matilda: They shold have slimming in The Games.
Anorexia: I reckon that's the event I mite beat all of those gymnasts at.
Matilda: Yes, but only just.
Anorexia: I used to wonder if I should have been into tumbling and such. Nowadays I think
I could be a jockey. I look in the paper and so long as I can do the weit for every horse
running that day then I feel just fine.
Matilda: That's good, but there's only one problem.
Anorexia: What's that?
Matilda: You can't ride.
Anorexia: Tell me something I don't know!
Matilda: A half times a half is a quarter.
Anorexia: I know that......Realy? How can that be?
Matilda: Never mind. Take a seat. I'll feed the quacking ducks.
Anorexia: Animals never seem to have any weit problems at all.
Matilda: I guess they don't eat at cafe's.

Rose: Anything on tonite on cable?
Carly: Not much. Too many people watching television. Not enough people making it.
Rose: One day there'll be more channels than programmes.
Carly: There is this film Nitemare In Fattsville.
Rose: Isn't that the film we're living since Rexie turned up?
Carly: We should be film stars realy.
Rose: I know so many people who never have their 15 minutes of fame there must be someone
having a whale of a time on everyone's share.
Carly: Its those Random male singer featuring Compulsory Girl combos that dominate the
charts.
Rose: Yeah, so lame. Give me country and western anyday.
Carly: Anyone who was any good wouldn't have to feature anyone anyway.
Rose: You mean like Carly featuring Rose.
Carly: No, I mean its more like Rose featuring Carly.
Rose: Isn't.
Carly: Is.
Rose: Is.
Carly: Isn't.
Rose: What were we talking about?
Carly: Dunno...Food, probably.
Honeysugar: Hi, honeys, I'm home. Victor the Vaccuum back again.
Carly: Wish there was a vaccuum. Then we wouldn't have to hear her.
Honeysugar: Sorry, you'll have to speak up. My hoover has a jet engine inside it. Its guaranteed
against Al Qaieda attack.
Rose: I depend on my President with rockets in his pockets for that.
Carly: Aren't you a bit early anyway.
Honeysugar: There was a rumor going round of a sugar puff spill. I couldn't wait any longer. I
had to see the crash scene.
Rose: Ah, yes. That was Carly. Its piled up in the corner of the kitchen floor with all mangled
bits of sugar lumps.
Carly: I saw it as divine prophecy leaving it there. Tripping on my low heels saved me like a
million calories in damages. I had a snickers bar instead.
Honeysugar: Fun sized?
Carly: No, the REAL fun size!
Honeysugar: Realy, you two! You're like a television show in your own living room.
Rose: Fifteen minutes, fifteen minutes.
Carly: I'd realy hoped for something better.   

Mr Plimsole; What d'you think of this Slim City?
Greg: Fat chance!
Maisie: I heard that.
Mr Plimsole: O you're back.
Maisie: Yes, we broke up early.
Greg: Fell apart?
Maisie: No
Mr Plimsole: Fell out.
Maisie: With each other? No, I think we recognised early what we have to do.
Mr Plimsole: What's that?
Maisie: Break up before we fall apart.
Greg: Close. Think I get silver.
Maisie: Yes, but silence is golden.
Mr Plimsole: What you need is to look at someone the opposite to you and do the opposite.
Maisie: That's easy! I just look at you.
Mr Plimsole: Its true. I'm not as trim as I used to be.
Greg: We all end up looking like the tomato-shaped ketchups we love to use.
Maisie: Thanks guys, listening to you is all the inspiration I need to keep dieting.
Mr Plimsole: I'm glad to be of service.
Greg: Guess I'd better get over and inspire Carly and Rose then. I think I'm large enough to
spread it to two people.
Maisie: Yes, you do that whilst doing what a man's good at, namely eating. You know I'm sure the combined weit of a couple never changes no matter how much the wife or girlfriend loses.
Greg: Its true. We do like to hoover up her leftovers.
Mr Plimsoles: I try not to, but I find it saves on the washing up.
Maisie: Sometimes I wonder, whatever am I dieting for?
Greg: You diet and then you die is what I say.
Maisie: If you mean a diet is never over you're rite?
Mr Plimsole: A man's diet is never begun.
Maisie: Even when it should be.
Greg: The global economic meltdown is the only thing that could put me on one.
Maisie: Or if Fat Harry's ever closed down.
Greg: I'd keep it going with my bare hands.
 

Carly: Alrite. Slim City. Meeting one. Lets talk about all the food we like.
Rose: Instead of eating it.
Carly: There's a special prize for the best speaker.
Rose: Yes, its to be exempt from the cream bun feast at the end of the session. There's
five of us and only four to go round.
Carly: So who's going to start.
Doreen the Dogwalker: My favorite's pink candyfloss.
Rose: Even tho it does leave you flossing your teeth afterwards.
Carly: Maisie. How about you?
Maisie: Dolly mixtures? Donuts? Don't know.
Carly: All the D's then. Poppyseed?
Miss Rye-Veta: Well, not poppyseed even tho I tell that to my husband.
Rose: More like popcorn bursting I'll bet.
Miss Rye-Veta: But not the chocolate covered sort.
Carly: You may be asking what mine is?
Rose: I was thinking 'I can't decide what mine is'. There's so many foods I'm never allowed.
Carly: Well, in case you're wondering. Its watermelon. Yes, plain old watermelon. With a
jug of sweet cider to wash it down with on the side.
Rose: Oh, yeah. Now I remember. Mine's a salad folowed by a sneaked in ice cream Mars bar.
I hardly ever get found out.
Carly: That's point one then. Let me chalk it up on the board. Its the things we can't have that
we want the most.
Miss Rye-Veta: I can't have dairy. I'm Lactose intolerent.
Carly: Well, like all good science, there are some exceptions to the rule.
Doreen the Dogwalker: I can't have Frio's biscuit.
Carly: Poodle food is exempt from our equations too.
Rose: I can't have chickenpox. I've already had it.
Carly: Now, this is just getting ridiculos.
Honeysugar: Don't mind me. Time for my hoovering.
Carly: Hey! There's a meeting going on here.
Honeysugar: Well, if you will use Greg's garage you can expect disruptions.
Carly: Realy!
Honeysugar: What is the meeting about anyway, Sweetie Pie?
Carly: Losing weit! What else?
Honeysugar: I'll let you all have a go at the hoovering. You'll lose weit in no time.
Rose: That's the best suggestion so far. Chalk it up!
Carly: Realy? Do you want Honeysugar as your leader?
Rose: No. She'd have us all super slim and then we'd have nothing to talk about!  

Anorexia; I can't believe I'm in Gardencourt!
Matilda: And I can't believe I had to get on a plane so you had someone to go with.
Anorexia: Yes, I'm a bit stuck at how to fit in.
Matilda: How stuck?
Anorexia: Like a bee in a jam pot.
Matlida: Sticky.
Anorexia: How are things going with Daddy?
Matilda: Oh, Lord Slimly's been his fly in the ointment again. He's putting in an ammendment
to the Starving Millions Bill to include the starving millionaires. Apparently, they have bills too.
Anorexia: I don't dout it. Think of the black caviar.
Matilda: I'll be in your neck of the woods next month too as Daddy's expected at the White House.
Anorexia: Global peace summit?
Matilda: Or Global war summit. I think the two are pretty much the same.
Anorexia: Yes, they both involve weapons don't they.
Matilda: Daddy's less Conservative than most in his party.
Anorexia: He'd have to be making a pact with Labor.
Matilda: Yes, he's more liberal minded than most in his party.
Anorexia: He can afford to be, being its leader.
Matilda: Boston is such a lovely place...if you look the rite way.
Anorexia: Much like every city I'd say then.
Matilda: I being into James and you being into Plath makes it more so.
Anorexia: Indeed.
Matilda: Sometimes I feel I can feel their spirit here.
Anorexia: Even tho they spent most there time back where we came from.
Matilda: Yes, funny that. We seem to be folowing their paths in reverse.
Anorexia: When most are learning English we're learning American.
Matilda: We're fashionably unfashionable.
Anorexia: I wouldn't say that with you in your leggings. You're more the 'in' girl.
Matilda: Yes, but you're the IT girl, like Sylvia Plath, if only you can stay alive. How's it going
with that?
Anorexia: What? In Plump Avenue? Temptation's everywhere. I think I could die of overeating
if anything. I've never seen people eat so much who are losing weit.
Matilda: Sounds like they've got the secret all worked out.
Anorexia: I know. I envy them.
Matilda: You should know by now. All the great thinkers are American.
Anorexia: Yes, in our world at least. 

Mr Plimsole: Phew, so much teaching today. Have you learnt anything while you've been
exercising all day?
Maisie: While I've been on the treadmill?
Mr Plimsole: What else?
Maisie: I think I discovered the secret of my slim-dress.
Mr Plimsole: Realy?
Maisie: Yes, I found out that its just LIFE that's fattening.
Mr Plimsole: Is that all?
Maisie: Yes, I thout that after eatin my third cream bun. I realy needed that to give me energy
for the next three hours on the mill.
Mr Plimsole: Oh, I can see then why you call it a treadmill now and not a running machine.
Maisie: Well, I've done with running. Be thankful I've not done with someone running my life.
Mr Plimsole: Did you say running or ruining?
Maisie: Take your pick. They're interchangeable.
Mr Plimsole: Oh, realy! What would Olivia Newton John say?
Maisie: I don't know, but I bet it'd be tough on the thighs!
Mr Plimsole: It is all unnecessary you know. You know that I'd like you in any size.
Maisie: Yes, but I only like YOU regular. If I let myself go you'd only walk in my shadow.
Mr Plimsole: True, I admit.
Maisie: Anyway, I mite be doin something different soon. Doreen the Dogwalker passed by
today and was telling me about a new slimming club up and running called Slim City.
Mr Plimsole: Isn't that London in two weeks time.
Maisie: No, that's the Olympics, tho she did look like she was dressed for the Olympics. She
was wearing the 78th different pair of leggings I've seen her wearing this month.
Mr Plimsole: She should get a gold medal.
Maisie: Yes and all the time she's been wearing the same boots.
Mr Plimsole: You'd think she'd have a bigger collection.
Maisie: Oh, she'll only wear white ones.
Mr Plimsole: That's American that. I remember those British wearing black socks.
Maisie: I know! Every American knows white is the color to wear!
Mr Plimsole: Can't wait til team USA realy cleans up!
Maisie: Yeah, Go Jordyn! Go Alexandra!
Mr Plimsole: Think the swimming's gonna go to that Halsall girl tho.
Maisie: Yeah, I thought she was French.
Mr Plimsole: We'll clean up in the men's tho.
Maisie: Yes, I'm sure the ripple effect will extend to the women.
Mr Plimsole: I fancy a coffee. I don't know how to make it.
Maisie: The men won't be cleaning up in that event.
Mr Plimsole: Yes, three shoots please.
Maisie: You can clean up after me....now watch this shot!
    

Carly: I'm trying a new diet today.
Rose: Sounds interesting - or as interesting as yesterday's - what is it?
Carly: Its simple. You just don't EAT?
Rose: That does seem to say it all. Isn't it kinda plain tho?
Carly: As I said, simple as.
Rose: I like heinz ketchup on my simple.
Carly: That could lead to complications.
Rose: Meaning?
Carly: You could get fat!
Rose: That's easy. I'll just pretend I'm pregnant again.
Carly: You don't think we're two fat persons with a thin person trying to get out?
Rose: As opposed to the opposite? Sure.
Carly: Next to that English chick we look like blown up balloons.
Rose: Yeah, she needs to FAT-up!
Carly: So you realise we've been losing calories just by speaking.
Rose: You're rite. My husband has been keeping me fat for years now I come to think of it. He
doesn't like me to be talking at all.
Carly: I reckon we should start a talking club.
Rose: That sounds like it'll be more popular than the rusty exercise club.
Carly: What's that club Ma Sunday was from?
Rose: The Old Victorians?
Carly: We should make a new version. USA style.
Rose: What will we talk about?
Carly: What we're interested in.
Rose: You mean food?
Carly: Ah, I see where the problem is.
Rose: They never said slimming was easy.
Carly: But we seem to be proving that putting weit on is.
Rose: You could take a leaf out of my name and eat edible roses.
Carly: And what would you eat out of my name? Cars?
Rose: Lets start a society anyway.
Carly: We could call it Slim City.
Rose: As long as the title's not ironic.
Carly: That remains to be seen.  

Anorexia: I'm thinking of going on a long jorney today, to Boston.
Honeysugar: Oh, the other side of the city? Its just a stride away.
Anorexia: Forty miles. You must be pretty bendable.
Honeysugar: I was once at the ballet.
Anorexia: Once.
Honeysugar: I noticed the chalk on the floor. I had to hoover it.
Anorexia: And they threw you out of the ballet class?
Honeysugar: No, I became its janitor.
Anorexia: I want to see Gardencourt. You know its a famos house in a novel.
Honeysugar: No, I don't know about books. They do get kind of dusty over time.
Anorexia: Yes, and of course, I must get up to Harvard for my course.
Honeysugar: Well, I must hoover up again. If you don't get up to Harvard I mite have to hoover
your books. They do seem to be gathering dust.
Anorexia: I've been a little preoccupied with my play The Mishap.
Honeysugar: When folks play there's always plenty of mishaps. I'm always hoovering up after
them. Sometimes I think I'm cleaning up after the whole world.
Anorexia: I think you'll be the last person left on earth after judgment day.
Honeysugar: I hope I shall be raptured before that, along with my hoover.
Anorexia: You won't find much dust in the new world.
Honeysugar: It will hardly be paradise then.
Anorexia: Maybe there will be a dusty corner just for you.
Honeysugar: If there is, it won't be dusty for long.
Anorexia: That's true.
Honeysugar: Oh, by the way, whatever happened to your trip back to England? You didn't go.
Anorexia: I know. I temporarily forgot I was studying at Harvard.
Honeysugar; Was studying?
Anorexia: Am studying.
Honeysugar: Am studying?
Anorexia: Am going to be studying.
Honeysugar: Well now its hoovering time, so study this.